It's so common, it's a meme. A feminine-presenting person joins a dating site, and suddenly hot dogs are thrown at them. Offer after offer pours in. It's just magic. And it's totally FREE!

Seems unfair to all others, yeah? 

Maybe. 

I'm not going to dig deep into the point that most of those sausages are not desired. Nor that it's a part-time job to sort through all the bullshit. Or even the awful porn that is sent that is often bad enough to turn you off engaging with strangers online, ever again. 

All of that has been covered, and I'm sure you know the arguments by heart. 

I'm going to take another tack. 

In a comment on one of my writings, someone said: 

> I think because of the abundance of messages and comments and friend requests that you receive you think that the odds of you finding exactly what you are looking for is somewhere out there.

This sounds very passive, like it all just comes to us/is thrown at us magically. 

Let me be clear: that is not what happens. 

At least in my experience. 

Find the full transcript for this episode here. https://datingkinky.com/blog/dating/the-hot-dogs-keep-coming/