Dating Kinky
How open are you in your communication? How open should you be?
June 27, 2022
Are you open enough? Are you authentic with your words and feelings? Do you offer what you need to offer to make your priorities happen?
Four weeks ago, I wrote that communication is a tool, not a solution. I mentioned that without a few key elements, communication is more likely to harm than to heal. Those are:

- Priorities
- Openness
- Respect
- Compassion
- Autonomy

Two weeks ago, I wrote "What are you trying to get out of this conversation?" about priorities. 

Today, I'm talking about openness. 

Because, well, I've found that it can be a huge tripwire in our quest for connection. 

People are often not open for VERY good reasons. We've been hurt. We've had our confessions used against us. We have doubts about whether what we think and feel is even OK...

And all of that is valid. 

It does not, though, change the fact that good communication requires a certain level of openness. 


How open should you be in communication? 

First, I'm gonna say that I really don't like 'should' questions. I'm not gonna should all over you, and I don't want you should-ing all over yourself. 

But the simple (and somewhat trite) answer is: You should be as open as you need to be to make the most of your priorities in your current communication, balanced against your personal risks. 

What does that even mean, though? 

Find the full transcript for this episode here.