Dating Kinky
Paraphrasing is an amazing, valuable tool when used right (Thoughts On Communication, Part VII)
March 17, 2022
Paraphrasing ideas and concepts into your own words is useful when you are using it as a tool to actually bridge the communications gap. Paraphrasing is also manipulative, self-centered, and often wrong.
In my recent "Communication For Couples" workshop, I taught how I like to use paraphrasing in response to stated opinions and needs from my partner:

Partner: I am feeling yadda yadda when you bazinga because Rumplestilskin.

Me (paraphrasing): You feel blah blah when I whoopdeedoo because supercalifragilisticexpialadocious. Am I understanding?

Partner (digesting and thinking for a minute): Not exactly. More like I'm feeling and so on and so forth when you yippee because McDomlypants.

Me (paraphrasing again): Ok. So you feel rah rah when I she bop bop bop bop because ramalamadingdong.

Partner: Yes.

Me: Is there more you can tell me?

And so on. Repeat until my partner feels like I understand and have nothing more to tell me.

Find the full transcript for this episode here.