Nonmonogamy: one plus one is 1, one plus two is 3, and one plus three is 6.

July 29, 2022

To "do relationships" well, there are two factors that must be considered: 1. The individuals involved. 2. The relationships.

Nonmonogamy: one plus one is 1, one plus two is 3, and one plus three is 6.

Or is it one plus one is 3, one plus two is 6, and one plus three is 10?

Depends on how you do your math, really, but in nonmonogamy, it's rarely straightforward, and that is what many people don't consider when they take those first steps.

--

Is it one plus one equals 1, or one plus one equals 3?

Depends on what you're counting.

One (person) plus one (person) equals one relationship.

Or

One (person) plus one (person) equals two (people) and one (relationship).

Personally, I do my math the second way.

I plus a single partner equals three important considerations in any decision I make:

1. How will this affect me?

2. How will this affect my partner?

3. How will this affect our relationship?

When I (or he) adds a partner, then I have six important considerations in any decision:

1. How will this affect me?

2. How will this affect person 1?

3. How will this affect person 2?

4. How will this affect my relationship with person 1?

5. How will this affect my relationship with person 2?

6. How will this affect the relationship between person 1 and person 2?

Some people do the math a in another way, taking whichever process they prefer from the two above, and adding in one more: the greater relationship of ALL the people.

Which, I guess makes sense when you are doing a closely-bonded nonmonogamy, like living with your triad or quad. The overall health of the greater relationship can make a big difference.

Still others only do parallel relationships, and their math might look like this in a 'V':

1. How will this affect me?

2. How will this affect person 1?

3. How will this affect person 2?

4. How will this affect my relationship with person 1?

5. How will this affect my relationship with person 2?

Since person 1 and person two never interact, maybe don't know each other.

That can work.

So every person added only adds two more complexities each time.

Find the full transcript for this episode here. https://datingkinky.com/blog/polyamory/nonmonogamy-one-plus-one-is-1-one-plus-two-is-3-and-one-plus-three-is-6/

Or is it one plus one is 3, one plus two is 6, and one plus three is 10?

Depends on how you do your math, really, but in nonmonogamy, it's rarely straightforward, and that is what many people don't consider when they take those first steps.

--

Is it one plus one equals 1, or one plus one equals 3?

Depends on what you're counting.

One (person) plus one (person) equals one relationship.

Or

One (person) plus one (person) equals two (people) and one (relationship).

Personally, I do my math the second way.

I plus a single partner equals three important considerations in any decision I make:

1. How will this affect me?

2. How will this affect my partner?

3. How will this affect our relationship?

When I (or he) adds a partner, then I have six important considerations in any decision:

1. How will this affect me?

2. How will this affect person 1?

3. How will this affect person 2?

4. How will this affect my relationship with person 1?

5. How will this affect my relationship with person 2?

6. How will this affect the relationship between person 1 and person 2?

Some people do the math a in another way, taking whichever process they prefer from the two above, and adding in one more: the greater relationship of ALL the people.

Which, I guess makes sense when you are doing a closely-bonded nonmonogamy, like living with your triad or quad. The overall health of the greater relationship can make a big difference.

Still others only do parallel relationships, and their math might look like this in a 'V':

1. How will this affect me?

2. How will this affect person 1?

3. How will this affect person 2?

4. How will this affect my relationship with person 1?

5. How will this affect my relationship with person 2?

Since person 1 and person two never interact, maybe don't know each other.

That can work.

So every person added only adds two more complexities each time.

Find the full transcript for this episode here. https://datingkinky.com/blog/polyamory/nonmonogamy-one-plus-one-is-1-one-plus-two-is-3-and-one-plus-three-is-6/