Someone in a poly group I'm in on Facebook asked:

> "How many of ya'll are poly and how many are open and how do you differentiate the two in your own words when people ask?" 

I answered: 

> "We are open and poly, we swing, we connect, we love, we play, we enjoy the wide variety that relating has to offer."
> 
> "I find that we work best with descriptive relationships, rather than prescriptive."

In practice, what that means is that I identify as ethically nonmongamous. It also means that when people ask what that looks like, I have to use a lot of words. 

Because "polyamorous" won't do. 

Neither will cuckoldress, pimptress, swinger, open relationship, relationship anarchist, or slut. 

Because while all of those words suit me, none are all that I am. 

And my partner is himself as well, with his own rhythms and desires. 

Monday night, after a rough day at work, instead of having a raunchy night of sex, we sat on our balcony, watched downtown, and ate dinner, talking. 

And this same topic came up from a different direction. A friend of ours with a podcast is on their own journey of change of identity—sexually and in their relationships, and my partner had been listening to their latest. 

He mentioned that it seemed like a difficult path. 

And I said that I relate. 

Find the full transcript for this episode here.https://datingkinky.com/blog/polyamory/is-your-relationship-style-descriptive-or-prescriptive/